This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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