There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
