Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Panties = found
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
