dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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