i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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