i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
