If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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