Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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