why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Houston, we have a squirter
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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