This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize