im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
