dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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