you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
