its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
