I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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