It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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