you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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