I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
