I want to stick my p in your. b.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
