I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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