Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
