Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
