Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
