Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
