And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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