we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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