I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
