I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
