so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
