She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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