Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
