And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize