I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
