Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
