i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
