Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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