He asked to "fluff my boner.."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
