The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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