This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
