I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
