There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
