Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Randomize