he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
