he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
