i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize