grandma shit on top of the toilet
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
