He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
