I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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