so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
