you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
zippers are such a cool invention
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
