He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
