I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
