Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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