At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize
