If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
