I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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