he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
high people should be assigned attendants
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize