so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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