So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
