Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
