and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
