you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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