So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
