i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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