I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
