Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
