i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So much rum. So many feels.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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