now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A+ Viking dick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
