good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
