just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
