I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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